Catholic and UnCatholic Sex in Catholic Marriages

Dr. Peter defines acceptance and endorsement within Catholic marriages and how the two are often confused, along with discussing judging the spouse vs. the spouse's behaviors.  He covers why it can be so difficult to accept our spouses as they really are and gives specific recommendations on acceptance.

Join Dr. Peter as he reviews the five kinds of empathy according to Dan Siegel, and considers the challenges and the ways forward for Catholic spouses to increase mutual empathy, including in their sexual intimacy.

Dr. Peter walks you through the self-deceptive slippery slope of Catholic marital infidelity and discusses the remedies to nip it in the bud.

Dr. Peter defines "human formation" and discusses how and why deliberate, thoughtful human formation, grounded in the Catholic Faith is a challenge for us and our Church-- and what to do about it, starting with an experiential exercise to help you get in touch with the particular elements of human formation you are lacking.  

Dr. Peter reviews the deep attachment needs and the deep integrity needs we all have, which so often drive our behaviors in ways that can be problematic.  We also begin with the first steps of a program to identify and address those unmet deep needs, including an experiential exercise.

Dr. Peter walks you through an example of how the parts of a Catholic husband and wife blend and take over, leading to fractured, fragmented sex that is ultimately disordered and unsatisfying.

Dr. Peter asks you to seriously consider how well you know yourself and how well you know your spouse.  He offers an Internal Family Systems approach to understanding both the multiplicity and the unity within both the husband and the wife as we continue this series on sexuality and Catholic marriage.

Join Dr. Peter as he describes the how Covenant, Mystery, and Vocation are to undergird our sexual lives as Catholics, and how these three are strands in one continuity of Catholic marriage. We also take on St. Paul's admonitions, "Wives, be subject to your husbands" and "Husbands, love your wives" and begin to look at what those mean for sexuality in Catholic marriage.  

Join Dr. Peter as he uses the model of a canopied marriage bed to explain step-by-step the different psychological elements in Catholic married sexual life -- not only what those elements are, but how they work together (or don't work together) to help you understand your marriage and others' marriages better in order to deepen and enrich a beautiful sexual intimacy in Catholic marriages.  

 Dr. Peter Malinoski review the surface reasons, the systemic reasons, the deeper reasons, and then the primary psychological reason why Catholic marriages fail and where to start in reversing the course of a failing marriage.

In this episode, Dr. Gerry Crete and Dr. Peter Malinoski review the essentials for Catholics to recover from pornography use.  We go deeper into the underlying needs that parts have that create impulses to use pornography and remedies, along with a discussion of milestones and how to recognize progress in recovery. 

Our guest, Dr. Gerry Crete discusses with Dr. Peter the hidden, subtle, but powerful reasons why Catholic use porn, even when they don't want to. Join us as we discuss what pornography means to some parts of those who use it, leading to internal conflicts. We also discuss how to get over the use of porn, the first steps.  

We cover six more mistakes Catholics make when trying to overcome masturbation, including the one big mistake that almost everyone makes.  We also cover ten more remedies for those mistakes, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.  

We cover six more mistakes Catholics make when trying to overcome masturbation, including the one big mistake that almost everyone makes.  We also cover ten more remedies for those mistakes, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.  

In this episode, Dr. Peter describes the first four mistakes that Catholics make in trying to break free from masturbation, and ten remedies to counter those mistakes.  

Dr. Peter reviews the top 10 reasons Catholic men give to explain their masturbation and then describes 10 more reasons for masturbation that are not obvious to Catholic men.      

Dr. Peter describes more of what a healthy sexuality is based upon, and five reasons why sexuality becomes distorted and confused.      

In directness and clarity, we explore the common struggles that Catholics face in their sexuality, and how shame complicates the picture.  We discuss why it's hard for Catholics to open up about their sexual struggles and how we can understand internal conflict around sexuality through and IFS-informed model of the person system made up of a core self and parts.   

St. Dismas, "the Good Thief," through word and deed shows us an amazing example of how to work through shame and turn a horrible, shaming experience to our advantage.  Join us for a deep dive into Dismas' heart, mind and body and understand his crucifixion in an entirely new way.  

Dr. Peter illustrated the role of shame in St. Peter's life and decisions, highlighting his internal structure and mapping his parts.  Dr. Peter explored how St. Peter switched among parts, the times he was carried away by his parts, and typical patterns in how his parts functioned.    

Dr. Peter walks through a deep psychological profile of Judas' Iscariot, really understanding him in three dimensions, with a discussion of Judas' parts and how he defended against shame through narcissism.  There is also an exercise for you to focus more on God's love for you rather than your sins, failings and weaknesses.      

Dr. Peter discusses the impact of unresolved shame on the spiritual life, how it separate us from the real God and impels us toward negative God images.  Bringing in the spirituality of St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, Dr. Peter discusses the remedies for unresolved shame in the spiritual life, focusing on childlike trust, humility and repentance.     

Dr. Peter guides a listening exercise deeper into the story of Princess Tamar and Crown Prince Amnon, looking at the incestuous rape and entering into the internal worlds, the inner experience of each of the characters, inviting you to not only listen to the story, but to listen to yourself as you listen to the story.  What are you noticing happening inside?  What can those emotions, impulses, desires, attitudes, beliefs, memories and images that come up in you tell you about your history and your experiences?  

Dr. Peter guides a listening exercise deeper into the story of Princess Tamar and Crown Prince Amnon, looking at the incestuous rape and entering into the internal worlds, the inner experience of each of the characters, inviting you to not only listen to the story, but to listen to yourself as you listen to the story.  What are you noticing happening inside?  What can those emotions, impulses, desires, attitudes, beliefs, memories and images that come up in you tell you about your history and your experiences?  

Dr. Peter teaches three levels of listening with an invitation to practice those listening skills in hearing the story of King David's youth and adult life, along with an introduction to conception from Internal Family Systems thinking by Richard Schwartz. 

Explore King David's difficult childhood in a way you have never seen or felt before.  Dr. Peter Malinoski also leads you through an experiential listening exercise to help you understand yourself and others better.   

Dr. Peter teaching three levels of listening to a real story of trauma with a focus on shame.  By exploring this story and your reactions to hearing it, you can learn about yourself and your experiences and also learn to better understand others, which helps you to love them.   

Dr. Peter discusses in depth the difference between shame and guilt, which are so often misunderstood and confused, and we take a deep dive into the research about what kinds of effects shame and guilt each have on our psychological health and our relationships.  

Dr. Peter Malinoski takes us deeper into recognizing the signs of shame in ourselves and others, and how shame manifests in unusual ways.

Dr. Peter discusses the silent killer that makes vulnerability seem so dangerous:  Shame. 

We discuss the three main reasons we flee from real love, or charity, and the consequences of that, using examples from literature and original poetry.  

We explore how to be both adult and childlike in the spiritual and natural realms through the metaphor of healthy soil.  Dr. Peter provides examples to illustrate the concepts of being both big and small through the metaphor of preparing our soil and sowing good seed.  There are even original poetry and a prize for finding the "Dad's word play" hidden in the episode.   

In this episode we look at ways to increase receptivity to intimacy with God the Father and with Mother Mary, covering the six dimensions of openness.    

Openness, trust, and confidence in God. Dr. Peter discusses these areas and leads listeners in an exercise that can help them grow in openness and increase awareness.  

Dr. Peter covers three secular treatment options for complex trauma that use parent figures.  He then describes how we can bring in the Blessed Virgin Mary to help us with trust issues.  He gives specific recommendations for increasing trust by praying differently to our Lady.

In this episode Dr. Peter explains the one thing you need to be resilient.  If you have that one thing, you get the rest of the things you need.  If you don't have that one thing, your resilience will be limited. 

Dr Peter Malinoski discusses spiritual childhood and the psychological factors that get in the way of us being confident in God and open to Him in our lives, with a special focus on the first two years of life.  He brings in Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development and John's Bowlby's attachment theory as well, with a special experiential exercise at the end.

In this episode, Dr. Peter Malinoski covers the final two problematic God images. He uses stories as well as Church teachings and psychological explanations to help us see how they incorrectly reflect God's true image.

In this episode, Dr. Peter Malinoski reviews three more problematic God images, how they develop, the self-images that go with them, and how they are exacerbated by the coronavirus crisis, with stories to illustrate.  

In this episode, Dr. Peter discusses the malleability or changeability of God images, and dives into the Robber God image, the Elite Aristocrat God Image, and the Marshmallow God image.

We examine how we can have multiple negative God images, and go into three more kinds of problematic ways of feeling about God -- the Unjust Dictator God Image, the Vain Pharisee God Image, and the Critical Scrooge God image.  

Dr. Peter dives into three common problematic God images with their corresponding self images and how they develop, with stories to illustrate.  

In this episode we examine God images, God concepts, self images and self concepts throughout the life of Susan, from early childhood all the way through middle age, drawing from her experience to more clearly identify how these images and concepts interact. 

We dive into how our God images impact us, and how they compromise our deep, abiding confidence in God, with practical suggestions to begin correcting those God images through experiencing God in a new relational way in prayer. 

Dr. Peter Malinoski discusses the essential core of resilience for Catholics, gets into how resilience is undermined and also discusses temptations and resilience. 

Dr. Peter discusses the three major problems in how secular experts define and understand resilience.  He also shows how a Catholic understanding of resilience is so different from a the secular ways of conceptualizing resilience.   He addresses how a plan to grow in resilience has to be tailored to the person's levels of human and spiritual formation and describes the five psychological tasks we need to accomplish to have a secure attachment to God. 

Dr. Peter Malinoski reviews how secular psychology defines resilience and discusses the ten factors that make up resilience.

Dr. Peter walks through advice for working through your own grief and also helping others with their grief, using examples from a story. 

Dr. Peter reviews the differences between grief and clinical depression with examples from Scripture.

Dr. Peter covers loss, grief, and mourning, including four more unusual variations on grief.  This is the first of a three-episode series on grief and resiliency, and this episode introduces the topic.

We look at identity -- different aspects of identity and how they connect to the fall in the garden of Eden.  We also discuss the psychological impact of original sin on integration and on identity, and there is an exercise to help you access unconscious aspects  of your identity.  

We explore the main, essential sign of psychological health and Dr. Peter announces a great new development for the listeners.

In this episode, we explore soulset, and how often the impact of heart, mind, and body on soul is neglected and even ignored.  We begin to explore the importance of integration of the human person.

Dr. Andrew Sodergren returns to guide us what it means to love our bodies, and we discuss psychological impediments to loving our bodies.  

Our guest psychologist Andrew Sodergren guides our Catholic audience through the four major psychological obstacles that keep us from accepting our bodies as gifts from God. We discuss the importance of getting to the stories that underlie our negative attitudes or feelings toward our bodies.  Dr. Andrew leads a guided reflection on the body and accepting the body. 

Come join us as we accompany JR, one of our listeners on his pilgrimage inside, as he shares with us his discovers through the bodyset exercise in the last episode. JR shows how it's possible to access parts of us that are deeply buried, yet having a tremendous impact on us, without us even knowing it.  

We dive into what it means that your body is Catholic (as well as your soul), and how to understand what your body is telling you.  We discuss the importance of loving your body, and Dr. Peter walks you through an experiential exercise to help you connect with your body and discover what it needs you to know, making the unconscious conscious.   

Dr. Peter discusses the flip side of neglecting emotions -- that is, letting our emotions dominate us in a crisis. This episode, we review a quick, effective way to calm down when your emotions run high.

Dr. Peter discusses some of his journey to harmonize psychology with Catholicism and invites listeners to get in touch with him as we form a community of Catholics who are committed to both human and spiritual formation and who are willing to put in the work to grow, even in this time of crisis and especially in this time of crisis.

We examine the one huge mistake people do or don't do with their emotions in a crisis, why that mistake happens so often, and the costs of that mistake.  Then we go through an experiential exercise to help us counteract that mistake and to aid in getting to know ourselves better.

Dr. Peter explores in depth mindsets and how to identify your own in a crisis, using an example from The Lord of the Rings. In this podcast, he will guide you through an exercise to help you begin to understand your own mindset in a crisis, in the service of building resiliency. 

Dr. Peter explores in depth mindsets and how to identify your own in a crisis, using an example from The Lord of the Rings. In this podcast, he will guide you through an exercise to help you begin to understand your own mindset in a crisis, in the service of building resiliency. 

Using the backdrop of 7th Century BC Judah and the prophet Habakkuk, Dr. Peter brings in the four pillars of psychological resilience for Catholics: Mindset, Heartset, Soulset, and Bodyset.  This is the first of a five-episode series on resiliency in the face of stress.

Dr. Peter walks you through a process of identifying and understanding problematic stress responses so you can better meed the underlying, often hidden needs that drive those responses.

Dr. Peter Malinoski discusses how our fear of the coronavirus and the fear of death can help us remember to pray and to be childlike in returning to God in this week's podcast.